Home Truth

Sorry if any of you have noticed that I have been away for six weeks. Not intended, not planned for, but necessary for my survival.

With five kids, the summer holidays are my personal Everest, the biggest challenge of my year. Not that I dislike my children, but my energy and patience levels (along with money, I have to add) run out long before the return to school. Three years ago, my health fell apart - raging tonsillitis, vivid hallucinations, the works…. The next year, it was my mind - after a big writing project, I couldn’t string a sentence together and how the kids turned up on the first day of school with correct uniform and equipment, I do not know! Last year, I was an emotional wreck by 1^st September and took until half term to recover.

So this year, I put my own life on hold - writing, the gym, friends, relationships!!!! - and concentrated on survival. It seems to have worked. The kids all had a great summer and I feel pretty intact. Result. End of apology and excuse.

Well, all the children are back to school. One has started secondary school for the first time, another primary school. An achievement in itself, albeit not a green one. According to the New Consumer “Green your school kid”, I fail on every front. Uniform: none of it fair trade or eco uniform BUT most of it recycled. In fact, I was given so much pre-owned (the new secondhand) uniform that I had enough to pass on to others!! Stationery: most of it from WHSmith BUT using gift cards from last Christmas and not succumbing to daughter pressure for Playboy. Food: a long way to go there, let’s leave it at that for now. The school run: easy as we live practically next door to the primary school and the others have no expectations of lifts. Wow! We scored in one area!

Pretty woeful, when it gets down to it, but we are so good in so many other ways (is the persuasive tone coming across?). I won’t try to justify our existence. Isn’t there a danger that as a society, we are becoming very judgemental and prescriptive, rather than encouraging and educating?

It’s absolutely fantastic that all these fair trade and green choices are out there.

So is freedom of choice.

Let’s celebrate both.

Filed under: Uncategorized, shopping, simpler lifestyle on September 11th, 2007 | No Comments »

Confession: I am not the world’s best housewife. Housework does not interest me. Being house proud is not in my nature. I do the bare minimum to keep the family ticking over.

So when my husband told me he was proud of me this morning, I was dumbstruck.

Then he went on. He was in fact proud of how empty our dustbin was when he put it out yesterday morning.

• Positive spin: we reuse and recycle and waste very little.
• Negative perspective: I never get round to clearing out the rubbish under beds and emptying the dustbins!

I choose to believe it is the former rather than the latter.

This conversation stemmed from the latest report in the media that a third of household rubbish is in fact food and that a quarter of all food bought is thrown away. A shameful statistic.

“Eat up your dinner. Just think of all the starving children in Africa”.

How many kids actually have had the nerve to reply “Well, send it to them then!” ?

I suspect we all agree the line our parents used is outdated and unhelpful. I’ve had to bite my tongue not to say the same thing.

Maybe the time to think about others is when we are actually doing the weekly shop. How often are we tempted to buy more than we actually need? How often do we overcater for fear of seeming stingy?

Gordon Gecko was wrong. Greed is not good. The world is in the process of discovering that the hard way.

Filed under: Reduce, recycling, simpler lifestyle on July 20th, 2007 | No Comments »

I’m reading a book at the moment that is making me ashamed to be British. No, it’s not about our national sporting achievements. Nor is it about our holidaymakers on the Costa del Sol.

Actually, to be more accurate, it makes me ashamed to be white. The book is ‘Blood River’ by Tim Butcher, charting the author’s journey along the length of the river Congo, following in the footsteps of the infamous H.M.Stanley. For someone who doesn’t like a documentary style and whose attention span for geographical detail is limited, it’s truly astonishing. I am finding it a fascinating read and would recommend it to anyone.

Not just fascinating, though. Heartbreaking. The subtitle is in fact ‘A journey to Africa’s broken heart’. What the white colonialists did in the name of progress disgusts me. The lack of respect for the indigenous peoples. The misplaced supremacy that stole the plentiful natural resources of Africa without a second thought. The slavery that wrenched thousands upon thousands from their homeland.

And then we have the cheek to look at the mess Africa is in now and wonder why. As if there is something inherently corrupt and violent within African nature that creates a situation where less people are have access to healthcare and education and sufficient food and water than they did fifty years ago.

‘But what can we do now? …. That’s all in the past…….What difference can little old me make?……. There’s nothing I can do.’

That’s just not good enough. Doing nothing does not feel like an option to me….. Fair trade, campaigning, celebrating positive images, education, promoting equality……

Read the book. Open your eyes. Do something.

We have an awful lot to make up for.

Filed under: africa, development on July 17th, 2007 | 1 Comment »

Now there’s a thought. Maybe this year.

Six weeks of unpredictable weather and limited resources with five kids for an introvert like me is a daunting challenge. Strangely, with only six school days to go, I feel unrealistically optimistic.

“It’s going to be great. We’re going to have such fun….discovering the great outdoors, enjoying each others’ company, exploring our creativity, slowing down and relaxing….” Who says I’m a dreamer?

I’m feeling pretty smug about our holiday away, if truth be known, as our carbon footprint will be very low. Only an hour away and no driving for a week while we’re there. You’ve guessed it - thank God for Centerparcs (although it feels as if it’s costing as much as a villa in Florida). And energy saving was only part of the decision: sanity on arrival was a big factor (the shorter the journey, the less chance of family - and minibus - breakdown!). So I’m really looking forward to it, although the older kids do not feel we’re having a ‘real holiday‘. ‘Real holiday’ means abroad, preferably flying, apparently.

I should show them the article I read today in the New Statesman - “It is not right, and it is not a right, to fly all the time.” Nice line. Spot on. Flights are too cheap. The world’s energy resources are being wasted on shopping trips to New York and hen parties in Prague. Even my son’s football team is upgrading its competition tour next year from Southport to Spain (on one level, who can blame them?). And then there’s the contribution to climate change. There is no excuse, even for some commercial air travel. Surely, meeting face to face to conduct business now has a viable alternative in video conferencing and computer technology.

But people won’t choose to stop when they see others jetting off on several foreign holidays a year. Why should they miss out? The world is there to be seen and experienced.

For now.

Filed under: simpler lifestyle, travel on July 16th, 2007 | No Comments »

I watched the news report on Monday about cows and their contribution to climate change with disbelief. Not disbelief that the Ten O’clock News had a report on flatulence. Nor disbelief that tents are erected around the cows to monitor their methane production. Not even disbelief that scientists are looking for the perfect grass mix to reduce levels of farting.

My disbelief was that not once in the whole report was it suggested that one solution would be if we all less ate meat. Is that really such a revolutionary thought? We all stop eating beef when we thought there was a risk to our health and we would all turn into mad cows. So why not sacrifice a few burgers to save the planet?

I speak as a lapsed vegetarian, wife to a recently reconverted vegetarian. Although technically according to the Vegetarian Society, we were never vegetarians, because we happily ate fish. Actually, I can see their point, but in the eighties, eating out as a vegetarian was a nightmare and fish was a welcome relief to cheese omelette.

I have never been a great fan of beans and pulses, but the reborn vegetarian in the house is uber excited to be rediscovering lentils, aduki beans and chick peas. Sharing a bed with him will take me back to our “windy” beginnings - although middle age has similar side effects, it seems!

But doesn’t the diet of the whole nation need reviewing? What if we were rationed to one portion of beef, chicken and fish each a week? How about imposing our own rationing? Why is no-one suggesting such food self-sacrifice?

Yes, you are what you eat. But to some extent, the life expectancy of the planet is governed too by what we eat.

Bring on the beans!

Filed under: simpler lifestyle, cooking on July 13th, 2007 | No Comments »

I know summer has finally arrived when I get round to going strawberry picking. I love the idea and look forward to it with great anticipation but usually only ever manage to turn up when the season is over and all that‘s left to pick is gooseberries.

Anyway, yesterday, my little girl and I managed to pick a huge basket of beautiful shiny red strawberries and are now dishing them out to Nursery, friends and anyone who wants some! What an educational, back to nature, feel good experience.

And it does indeed look like we will have strawberry fields forever, according to the owner, who can make more from strawberries than any vegetable. I got him started when I mentioned locally grown produce….. “I get people like you in all the time….you say you want home grown but then I grow it and you take one look at it and suddenly you don’t want it any more!…..you want everything the same shape, the same colour, no blemishes….you should see the mountains of apples that are rejected in Kent by the supermarkets…what happens to them, I wonder…”

At this point, I surface to interject “It’s my kids who refuse anything with a mark on it and it’s hard enough to get them to eat fruit and veg as it is….”

Big mistake.

“Children only learn from one person” he continued “- and that’s their parents (so that’s two people really but I wasn’t going to argue the point)….it’s up to you to be an example……if you saw a yellow cauliflower and a white cauliflower, which would you pick? (neither actually, as cauliflower is pig food in my humble opinion, but again, not a point worth making) - the white one of course….but you‘d be wrong. The yellow ones have far more flavour…..”

Fair point, but I did feel rather on the spot by this stage and my bored daughter was about to start throwing stones at cars, so I mumbled some feeble apology and weak justification (“Well, we have just been picking your strawberries”) and left.

Not before buying some beautiful Californian cherries. Guess that counts as an offset. Making the whole thing a neutral experience every way you look at it.

Filed under: sustainability, simpler lifestyle on July 12th, 2007 | No Comments »

Every little boy wants to be a footballer when he grows up. Every parent wants their son to be a professional footballer. Don’t they?

I didn’t think I did until we were approached three years ago by a Sunderland AFC scout about our son. I can still remember how excited I was, what dreams I had, how I had the future all planned out….I can also remember how devastated he was to be dropped a year later. Immense disappointment. A huge blow to his self esteem. And he was still only nine.

The dream isn’t just about money or fame. Playing professional football is the greatest goal for those who love the game.

I guess it’s the same in the Ivory Coast. Parents dream of success as young barefoot children kick a ball around in the dust. They yearn for a way out of postwar poverty for their offspring. So when the scout approaches them with an offer from a European or North African club, they seize the opportunity and send their child off into the unknown. At the age of fourteen. According to the article I read in the Guardian Weekly, 90% of players leaving West Africa are doing so illegally and will end up on the scrapheap.

“A young footballer can be worth much more than a diamond……It is the new slave trade. The reality for most young players is further poverty and abuse……”

So what can be done? Buying fairtrade footballs will appease some ethical footy fans, but how about cocoa? The Ivory Coast is the world’s largest exporter of cocoa and has two Fairtrade cocoa producers. Divine cocoa is sourced from a fair trade co-operative in neighbouring Ghana. You can even buy fair trade chocolate footballs! (Update: turns out you can’t - they are coming back as chocolate Christmas puddings!). Supporting fair trade in these West African countries is one step towards rehabilitating the economy and stopping this exploitation.

Junior football is ruthless in this country. But I don’t suppose that many of us parents see our child’s success as a way of securing the future of the whole family. We don’t have to. We are not so desperate that we have to “turn our children into objects of transaction.” How desperate would we have to be to do that?

These families obviously are that desperate.
(Quotes from “Inside Africa’s football factory”, Guardian Weekly 29.06.07)

Filed under: fair trade, development on July 8th, 2007 | No Comments »

I wouldn’t have said I was much of an earth mother or a tree hugger, but communing with nature definitely does work wonders.

One of my cherished tadpoles has lost his tail and is now a frog. Imagine my joy. As if that wasn’t enough, I ate the first two ripe raspberries to appear. More joy.

I missed the documentary a while back entitled “God is Green”. My guess is that the world Church will have been slated for its lack of concern for the environment. But God is green. When He created the world, it was good. Who could ever create anything as beautiful as my wild strawberry plant? Or as amazing a process as my new frog has been through? And when He created people, He gave us the job of respecting and caring for the natural world.

Then dissatisfaction sets in. Greed takes over.

“When the frogs are gone, can we get some fish?”

“When the cat dies, can I have a dog?”

“When the gerbil dies, I want a guinea pig.”

Never satisfied.

Taking time to discover the wonders of nature in our back garden is good for all of us. We found a bundle of minute baby spiders that dispersed as fast as they could when disturbed, only to gradually return together when all was quiet. Amazing.

I do plan to get five fish, one each for the kids to name and feel responsible for. As for me, my heart is still set on a solar powered fountain. Actually, I was runner up in a short story competition recently and the fountain is going to be my momento - that’s my justification anyway.

In the meantime, I plan to enjoy the tadpoles as much as I can. When the rain stops, that is.

Filed under: solar powered, environment on July 4th, 2007 | No Comments »

Last night, I persuaded my husband and boys to watch “Crash” with me. The boys overcame their suspicion of any film that I recommend. (I have tested friendships many a time by coming out of a film raving about it while my companion has absolutely hated it….‘The Beach’ ….. ‘War of the Worlds’ ….. ‘Notes on a Scandal’…) Mind you, I would never watch a film my sister has enjoyed so who am I to talk!?!

I had seen the film before, although that doesn’t count for much, as I have an incredible ability to forget vital details of the plot. (I rewatched ‘Gladiator’ for the third time last week and was surprised and traumatised anew that Maximus dies at the end.) So last night, instead of the annoying “Oh, there’s a good bit coming up” and “He’s about to do something stupid”, it was “I thought she died when I watched it last time” and “I can’t believe that’s just happened”!

Anyway, what a great film it is. Despite spreading the irony on with a trowel (my husband’s view) and too many coincidences to be believable (my cynical son’s view), the racial tensions were frighteningly real. Throw a few white Americans, Hispanics, black Americans, Chinese and Afghans in a bag and shake it up….the abuse and hatred and violence and prejudice soon start to surface.

But then just as those who have done wrong find redemption, so those who have stood for good fall into compromise and prejudice. Racism (founded in a fear of the unknown?) is an integral part of human nature, it seems, and it is up to each one of us to be aware of it and educate ourselves for the good of ourselves and those around us.

That’s what I was doing yesterday, I guess, when I agreed to go and help out in my daughter’s class. A visitor had come to school to talk about India. The children tried on Indian clothes and I was dressed up in a sari. They loved the textures, colours, intricate beadwork and gold stitching. They tried Indian sweets, which of course, some enjoyed far more than others! Then the lady spent the rest of the school day doing a Mehndi pattern on every child’s hand - about 60 in total - she could hardly see straight at the end of the day! My job was to repair the smudged patterns with a cotton bud (for those who could not keep their hand still for half and hour) and convince the distraught culprits that it would not look that bad in the end! We learnt about Mehndi patterns and the children designed their own. I now have a beautiful pattern on my hand too as a reward for going in. Actually, the reward was learning first hand about a different culture and seeing the kids making new and exciting discoveries.

The teacher was absolutely fantastic and what impressed me most was that she was not actually from India at all. She was actually a Muslim from Middlesbrough, whose family originated from Bangladesh. But she was prepared to lay the differences to one side and come in to share the similarities between her own background and Indian culture. She felt passionately about giving the children a different cultural experience and saw it as a vital part of their education.

I can’t help agreeing with her. I would like my kids not to see different as better or worse, but as an adventure. That goes for me too.

Filed under: culture on July 3rd, 2007 | No Comments »

Whilst looking in vain for some ant powder in the garage, I came across a blast from the past - a half full plastic bottle of Ark window cleaner. What a find! Out of the ark more like! We worked out it must be twenty years old and have moved house with us six times. It gave my techno freak an excuse to look it up on the internet to see what had become of the company (not a trace) and hours of endless fun teasing me that I had only managed to use half a bottle of window cleaning fluid in twenty years! He reckons it says a lot about my priorities or something.

For those of you who did not join the green revolution in the eighties, Ark was one of the first companies set up to produce ecological household cleaning products and was endorsed by Linda McCartney. Ring any bells now?

I wonder why they chose Ark as a name. Maybe because being green in those days provoked as much ridicule as Noah did when he started building an enormous boat on dry land with no water in sight. Maybe because their success was only to last forty days and forty nights. Maybe because they could see the environmental storm coming and wanted to do something to minimise the damage.

I have a feeling that my window cleaner may be past its best. I’m absolutely useless at windows anyway. Lack of practice probably. Anyway, I wonder what those people from Ark have gone on to do - probably still building an ark of some kind or another, still warning of impending disaster, still facing ridicule.

There was only one Noah. Twenty years ago there were a few. Now we are many. Together we can make a difference.

Filed under: green cleaning on June 30th, 2007 | No Comments »